New Book Shows How to Build Connection And Love At Work And Personal Life

Connection and love are basic human needs. Why then do relationships often feel so difficult?

A new book provides a clear and compassionate roadmap to identify and dismantle obstacles—from fear and self-criticism to resentment—that prevent you from achieving authentic connection and love. In fact, setting boundaries is key.

That's the advice of Charmaine Heard, author of The Courage to Rise, who notes that often people ignore boundaries because they want to please or protect, but that lack of boundaries ultimately has the opposite effect on the relationship.

Setting boundaries at work, home, or in personal life can feel like putting up a wall between yourself and others, but in truth, it's a showcase of your honesty, which builds bridges in your relationships.

"When you've been conditioned to put others first, setting limits can feel unfamiliar, even wrong," Heard said. "But the absence of boundaries doesn't make you more loving or loyal—it often leads to exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection from who you truly are."

Heard masterfully blends personal insights with practical strategies, teaching you how to build genuine self-worth, communicate with integrity, and lead with confidence. By embracing the journey of internal work, you will unlock the emotional intelligence required to inspire teams and foster trust. This guide can help create a life of purpose and impact.

Heard, a highly credentialed international relationship intelligence coach, says that a lack of boundaries can build resentment, and offers advice on how to recognize these signs of ill-defined or non-existent boundaries:

Sign #1 We Become People Pleasers. The book talks about how the fear of disappointing others causes some to "people please." They tend to neglect their own needs and desires in order to tend to others, sometimes due to a fear of rejection.

Sign #2 We Tend To Overgive, Heard cautions against overextending ourselves, and the trap of thinking that overgiving shows loyalty and commitment. Taking responsibilities that aren't ours to take can cause us to live in a constant state of exhaustion.

Sign #3 Resentment Builds. According to the book, resentment can build in a relationship when we sacrifice ourselves to meet others' wants, needs, and desires, later realizing that we aren't getting ours met. This long-term effect can be very damaging to relationships.

Sign #4 We Have Difficulty Saying No. Saying "yes" even when overwhelmed and tired is a tough pattern to change, especially for those who tend to be an over-giver or people pleaser. Heard says there is a belief that we are not supposed to say "no" to others. We feel bad about it and guilty because we don't want to be perceived as selfish.

Sign #5 We Lack Self-Care. When someone is too focused on others, self-care falls by the wayside. Too much time spent on others leaves no time left to take care of yourself. This can impact sleep, grooming, and diet.

Sign #6 We Feel Taken Advantage Of. In the book, Heard warns that there are people who will take advantage of your willingness to be helpful and will allow you to give without reciprocity. At times, they won't even appreciate what we've done, will want more, or play it off like it wasn't a big deal. These people can make those with weak boundaries feel exploited.

According to the book, setting boundaries is important not just for managing stress, but also for understanding yourself more completely.

"Healthy boundaries helped me understand where my responsibilities and needs end, and where those of others begin," Heard explained, "allowing me to preserve my sense of self and personal integrity.

Heard has over 20 years of leadership experience. She has extensive experience managing corporate educational programs as well as leadership and professional development training.

Henry DeVries is the author of 20 marketing books and is the publisher/partner at Indie Books International.