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Recovering From a Divorce

By Janelle Perez, California Business Journal

No one arranges a wedding with the idea of calling it quits soon. But life often makes its amendments, and here you are: watching a sheriff handing you over divorce papers.

Every tenth married person in Washington State ends up abandoned by their spouses. So if you happened to be among them, the first thing you should know: you’re not alone. It may seem like the end of the world right now. But relief will eventually follow.

Denying

They say there are always signs of an upcoming divorce. But let’s be honest: there’s no way to foresee this happening to you. From the person you intended to spend the rest of your life with, the fateful words “I want a divorce” are nothing less than a betrayal. And they couldn’t do this to you! Not them! Not to you!

Begging

Begging will immediately follow. It’s normal to fear changes. The ways are different for every couple. Some try to talk their spouses into marriage therapy. Some promise to change and adjust to the partner’s demands. Others try to recreate the dating phase to make them fall in love again.

Rage

Rage is the most ruthless among all phases of divorce. You’ve done everything to prove that your relationship still stands a chance but your partner is resolute!You’ll feel a strong desire to revenge and break their heart as they broke yours. Drive it away. To no one, revenge has ever brought happiness and peace – only more pain and devastation.

Making Peace with the Situation

Eventually, you’ll have to accept that your marriage is over. And nothing you say or do can change this fact. By this time, you may even get used to arrange your life without your ex around. Different insights may start to come to your head. That you’ve never been a good fit for each other. Or that you’re free to do whatever you want since you’re single now.

Moving On

When all the pain, grief, and fighting with their inner self are over, many divorcees feel the necessity to change old habits and routines that reminded them of their older married days. You’ll start a new phase full of new insecurities, fears, and doubts. Should I stay or leave this neighborhood? How about accepting a new job offer abroad? Or even, am I ready to dive into a new relationship?

Bottom Line

It doesn’t matter whether you go through bloody battles in the court or have a Washington state divorce online. Regardless of the outcome, being the abandoned party in divorce tears you apart and leaves you broken, devastated, and lost.’

Tags: divorce, Drive, leaves, party

Janelle Perez, California Business Journal

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